Rubber to the road...

Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks pregnant. As of yesterday, we have known about our impending "bundles" for exactly one week. What seems like a lifetime of thought has gone into the past week. As excited as we are and as much as we know what huge blessings are involved, we've both had our share of fear, stress, and even worry. There are some very practical concerns that come up when you "planned" to add an additional family member, and with one swipe of a sonogram you learn you'll be adding two at once. I've never been one to pretend things were roses when they were not. That is why I'm processing through some of my fears, stresses and worries on this blog.

1. I drive a Honda Accord. R drives a Dodge Ram pick-up. Both would easily accommodate another child. Neither will work for adding two more. We've begun the process of looking for a minivan. Thankfully, R has taken on this task because I don't have much patience for working with car dealers. There are very few late model minivans for sale. Which of our cars should we sell? How will it work to have one car that can accommodate the entire family and one car that will not? Is it silly to buy new? We think we've decided to sell the truck simply because it is the vehicle we do not own outright. We don't want to have 2 car payments. Should we try to sell it ourselves? How do you sell a car? What is involved?

2. When we purchased our home almost 5 years ago, we knew it was a great starter-house. It is just under 1500 square feet. We over-paid for it back then (hind-sight is 20x20), but have made improvements and kept it up really well. It would have been snug adding another child, but that was our plan. The thought of adding two more children to the small space makes my nausea return with a vengeance. We live in a very desirable school district and in a nice neighborhood. Should we try and sell our house? If so, should we try to do it ourselves (and increase our profit significantly) or let a Realtor handle the details (and take a huge chunk of the profit)? And of course, if we do sell it, where will we go? I don't need (or want) a house in the swanky subdivisions of our town. I'd be thrilled with an older home with more space and less claustrophobia. We desire to be good stewards of our money and would never want to move "just for the heck of it." We also desire to have space for our growing family. How do we know what we should do?

3. It has become a full-time job to keep myself fed. I'm working hard to keep my nausea at bay by eating regularly, all the while trying to keep my fears about gestational diabetes at bay. It is so hard when you know you have to eat, but you have concerns about every bite that goes into your mouth. Here's what I've eaten today...

2 scrambled eggs + 1 bowl Grape Nuts cereal + 3 strawberries (breakfast)
green grapes
2 slices Colby Jack cheese
a few walnuts
BBQ brisket sandwich + green beans (lunch)
Fuji apple
Walnut thumbprint cookie
Cheeseburger + sliced tomato salad + dill pickle (dinner)
6 cheese bagel bites
(And I'll probably have another bowl of cereal before bed because I'm already starting to feel hungry again!)

I'm trying to make healthy choices, but I'm eating CONSTANTLY. It is exhausting to think about planning my meals, snacks and drink choices ON TOP OF trying to keep my family well-fed and happy.

I'm not writing all of this so people will worry about me (mom). I just want to be open with my feelings and honest with myself. I covet your prayers as we try to make sound decisions for our growing family.

This whole process is a test of my faith. A test like I've never experienced before. Sure, I've had faith, but it is easy to have faith when you feel like you are calling the shots and know what is coming next. Before now, my faith has been like tires on a new car that have never touched the road. Looks nice, smells nice, deep tread. Now, I'm taking those tires on a cross-country journey and seeing what they can do. Rubber to the road.


Here's a picture of my "mimming" princess! This girl loves water SO much! We took her to the splash park near my parents house this week. I love that girl!