Isaiah 55:8-11
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
About 8-9 months ago, R and I talked about the possibility of adding another member to our family. We talked about C and the new sibling being about 2 years apart. We talked about C “graduating” from Nana’s just in time for a new sibling to take her spot. We talked about the challenges of having two young children, but we also talked about the joys. In my mind, it was something we could handle. Childcare wouldn’t be a problem. Money would be tight (isn’t it always?) but we’d make it work. My 80% work schedule would allow me to spend every other Friday with one of our children. One Friday would be special time with C and the next would be special time with the new sibling. We’d be able to keep driving my Accord and R could keep driving his truck. We’d be snug in our house, but we’d fit just fine. We’d be able to start a second 403(b) college savings account for the new sibling and continue contributing to C’s monthly. I have two hands, so in my mind I would be able to manage having two children. I had it ALL figured out.
And friends, I am here to admit to you all that I don’t have ANYTHING figured out at this point. With the news that God has decided to bless our family with twins, my “plans” have been completely obliterated. Nana doesn’t have two infant spots available for the twins, so that puts us back at square one for finding childcare. Do we look for a nanny? How does one go about looking for a nanny? We knew money would be tight when we added one child. I have no concept of how we’re going to make things work when we add two children. With both of us working, money will be tight. If one of us was to stop working, we wouldn’t be able to buy diapers or pay for insurance. The college savings accounts are going to have to be put on hold. That’s for sure. You all know that R’s truck has gone bye-bye and we are now minivan owners. Our once small-seeming house seems even smaller, and yet, we don’t have the option of moving at this point. The plan to spend every other Friday with one sibling isn’t really going to work now. And the whole idea about me having two hands for two kids is laughable now that there will be a total of three children and I still only have two hands.
How will I be able to give the boys all the attention they need while giving my precious C all the attention she needs while still maintaining my marriage and giving R the consideration and attention he needs and deserves? How will I maintain the friendships that have become so important to me when I’m spending so much time in survival mode? Will my friends think I’ve fallen off the face of the earth? And then we get to the practical concerns…How will I keep all of us fed and clothed? How will I juggle it all? HOW?
Everyone says, “Oh don’t worry! Everything will work out!” Someone said to me the other day, “Oh, Corrie, where’s your faith?” I think that was supposed to make me feel better. She didn’t realize that many mornings it takes all the faith I can muster to even get up and face the day. But then I have to remember what faith is. It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things not seen. That is from Hebrews 11:1. I memorized that verse in college and it has applied so well in so many circumstances.
I have no doubt that God knows and can fully handle all of these questions and concerns. He just doesn’t seem to want to let me in on how exactly He’s planning on doing that. I suppose He wants to receive the praise when everything DOES in fact work out and none of us are going hungry or going without diapers. He wants me to know that He is the one who will orchestrate the childcare conundrum. He wants me to know and to trust that He will use me to give each of my children what they need and that He will sustain my marriage and friendship with R in the midst of chaos. He wants me to see that He’s painting this picture, and I’m merely a color on the canvas. He’s not going to reveal the grand picture until He’s good and ready. He doesn’t want me taking the credit for ANY of the masterpiece I’m certain He’s painting.
And for those of you who thought I looked "tiny" or "not large enough to be carrying twins" in the 20 week picture I posted, I'll just tell you that the outfit, plus the angle, plus the time of day made it only APPEAR to be the case. Here I am this evening at 21 weeks and 2 days. I'm getting larger by the minute! And these boys are active!!
We're working hard to stay healthy around here. C is keeping us on our toes! Most of you saw this pic on Facebook this weekend, but just in case you missed it, here's the cutest little Aggie fan around!
Thanks, as always, for the encouragement you offer. You can't possibly know how much it means to me! Be blessed, my friends!
After about 12 weeks I got a reprieve from having to get up in the night to go to the bathroom. Well, that is over for now. Also, my extreme hunger has returned. These boys are hungry!! 
We also ordered the cribs, and they should arrive sometime in late September. They are convertible only to a toddler bed, so they are a little smaller than most. That is what we were going for since they’ll both be in the same room! They are chocolate wood finish. 
And here she is doing one of her FAVORITE activities…chalking! Can you see the excitement on her face? And the major curly bed-head? She is her daddy’s child!
You can see from the picture (this was before any cutting happened!) that she was bribed with a sucker ("cany") while Jennifer snipped and then treated to lunch at her favorite place (Chic-Fil-A or "Chick-play") for being such a good girl!
