The thing is, nothing is really wrong. Everything is fine, and the rational part of me knows that. I'm blessed. I love my children. I'm thankful for the help I'm getting. Everything is going to be fine. It was just like I couldn't get a hold of myself, though. I couldn't get a grip! I even knew that my tears and fears were part of a hormone surge and yet I couldn't dry it up. So, R sent me, C and mom out for the evening. I initially refused to go. After some coaxing, I reluctantly went in hopes that a little fresh air with my two best girls (C and mom) would do me some good. We went to the mall and walked around. C had a blast walking up and down stairs and chasing us around. Mom bought me some non-pregnancy, non-granny panties. Nothing like some pretty undies to make a gal feel a little better about life. We topped off the evening with dinner at Jason's Deli. C ate SO GREAT and it was just nice to be out and around people. We got home to a daddy who had managed two boys just fine.
We've had some fussy, fussy boys since we got home, so the outing was timely in helping me deal with the serious bouts of non-stop crying. I'm currently "wearing" Reid (love the Bjorn!) and R is managing Chase. We'll start our bathtime routine before too long and do our last feeding before bed. I'm praying that our sleep will be rejuvenating and give us all the energy we need for tomorrow!
we're praying for you. been there with the emotions. (had to counter the weird comment from above!). oh, and the boys are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteOh man! I'm sure this post had many of us mommies nodding. Hang in there, Corrie! Sounds like everything's going text book, though I know that's not always what you want. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh I've been there! I said after Jack was a few days old how I wished so badly that we Moms could go through the newborn stage without those pesky hormones getting in the way! I had a few days of bawling for NO reason, and just like you, I knew it was irrational, but it doesn't make it any better! I'll say some prayers for you! I laughed at the pretty underwear part! So true!
ReplyDeleteUgh. SUCH a tough phase. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I'm bracing for the hormonal impact in April. Have I ever told you that I missed Hannah's first doctor's appointment because I had a meltdown on the way and bawled my eyes out in the car the whole time instead? I couldn't get a grip on my emotions, and I was so ashamed to miss out on that appointment just because I couldn't hold it together.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for the hormonal surge to die down and for plenty of rest for you. What a blessing it is to have an understanding husband and mom there to lean on. Hang in there, sweet friend!
C,
ReplyDeleteI am sure I've told you this, but I cried EVERY night when I got in the shower after I had Creighton. I swear it lasted for at least two weeks. And not just little tears. Tears that would not stop. Tears that made my eyes puffy. And like you, I had nothing to be sad about, which in itself is frusturating. I was crying for basically no "real" reason. It did go away. Just give it time and give yourself some room to just cry. Understand it's okay and as crazy as you may feel and as bad as you want them to stop, just let them flow!
I hope you're still promising to call me when your mom leaves. I want to come help you or bring you lunch like you did for me. That day you came, was my saving grace. Seriously. I'd love to return the favor.
Love you.
I will be praying that tonight's sleep will be rejuvenating as well!
ReplyDeleteFriend, you are walking through the delight of complete hormone crash from not one but TWO babies! You are doing so GREAT! I am so glad R encouraged you to get out for a bit. Yay for hot new panties that lift a woman's spirits!
The closer I get to delivery, the more I have moments of sadness where I'm not even sad about anything but just can't snap out of the funk. I love your humor and wise perspective on things! Thanks for leading the way for us twin moms and being honest about the emotional ups and downs...you are the best!